The Babysitter's Guide to Surviving our Children
by Gryffindor's Goddess
Summary: To say Draco owes Harry his life is no understatement. But the favor Harry asks in return may cost him his sanity. The Seven Potter/Weasley children aren't as innocent as they may seem.... COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. **

Draco Malfoy sighed. Of all the places, this was the last one he wanted to be . The house looked cheery. _Too _cheery. It sickened him. Of all the times he had cursed it having to be Harry Potter that had to be the one that saved his life, causing him to owe the scar-headed prat practically anything he asked, it was nothing compared to the amount of times he had today. Even his usually silent son, Scorpius, had commented on this.

Draco shuddered as he knocked on the wooden door to the Potter's home, located, of course, in Godric's Hollow. Draco hadn't been in the neighborhood for more than five minutes, and he already was making a mental note never to come back. A small girl who couldn't be more than ten answered the door.

"Oh, it's you." She surveyed him, then called over her shoulder "He's here." To no one in particular. "Mom, Dad, and them have already left. I'm supposed to say 'Thank You' in advanced." She turned, smacking Draco's waist with her long black hair. "This way..."

Draco walked into the house, and was greeted by seven children, all giving him a familiar suspicious glare.

He studied the children, finding it shocking how much they resembled their parents.

"Right, er, I should probably start by learning your ages."

One of the children, a curly haired brunette, raised an eye brow and asked, "What about our names?"

"Oh, yeah, that too."

"Okay then." The tallest boy with black hair and brown eyes stepped forward. "I'm James, and I'm fourteen. This one beside me," He told Draco, while punching a small boy with green eyes. "Is Al, he's twelve. Then that there is Fred, he's fourteen too, and Hugo he's nine, so are Lily,and Roxanne, and of course, Rosie, she's the same age as Al."

Draco scowled. "Aren't you'll old enough to watch each other?" He asked rather rudely.

"We're not trusted home alone after last time." James told him matter of factly.

"And if you'll excuse us for a moment, we have a very important meeting to attend to." Fred grinned.

Rose scowled. "Honestly..." She huffed with a roll of her eyes.

"Wait!" Hugo cried pulling Draco's arm. "What's your name, and how old are you?"

"Wha- oh, I'm Draco, er, Malfoy and I'm thirty-seven."

The room suddenly grew very quite, except for the gasp that escaped Roxanne's mouth.

"If you'll excuse us." Rose smiled, with a new gleam in her eyes. For some reason, this made the older children(primarily Fred and James) smile with greedy expressions, and the younger children to stare at her with expressions mixed with excitement and awe.

The seven children ran up the stairs leaving Draco alone,to ponder the children's odd behavior. He shrugged it off with a "Like Parents, like children."

Draco peered around the room he was standing in. There were several pictures of the kids, Hogwarts, and what seemed to be Quidditch players. Then something caught his eye. Under a stack of old copies of _Witch Weekly _magazineswas a packet of muggle paper tied together like a book. It had the appearance of something that had been quickly hidden by a young child. He pulled out the packet and read the cover.

_A Babysitter's Guide to Surviving our Children _

Draco raised en eyebrow. No one had informed him that this job required a manuel. Happy he had found the booklet, he flipped to the first page.

_Introduction: _

_Draco, _

So it was addressed to him.

_We can't thank you enough for helping us out tonight! As you might have noticed, there are a large amount of children for you to be watching, so we thought it might make your life easier to know a little bit about them. Our children are high spirited and will require a lot of attention. They love having a good time and, James and Fred especially, love a good laugh. _

_We haven't exactly mentioned to them who it will be taking care of them( we, as you know, were pressed on time) so it might come as a _bit _of a shock to them. Don't take anything they say personally. They don't really mean it. In a way. As every family would, we have a list of emergency contacts located in the back of the booklet, though we doubt you'll need it considering we learned most spells capable of putting out fires in fifth year. Just kidding. Sort of. Anyway, Harry, and Ron thought it would be a good idea to have a list of things that if let happen, could have a negative effect on your night. Thank you again and good luck. _

_Hermione Weasley _

Draco had to smirk. He could easily picture the bookworm taking the time to write something like this. He flipped to the second page of the booklet where _Tip Number One _was written in messy writing that seemed vaguely familiar.

_Under no circumstances whatsoever should you let the the children _

_conference. Just trust us. You _will _be targeted, and you _will _be tortured. _

"Oh, God."

&&***&&

Meanwhile Fred and Gorge where holding court in the upstairs 'playroom' that when the parents weren't around was used as the to hold the banned practice of conferencing. Tonight there was even more excitement in the air, due not only to the rare participation of the oldest girl, Rose, who had dubbed her once-hobby 'immature' when she started Hogwarts, but the topic of which they were about to discuss.

"Alright, everybody! We would like to start off the night by thanking our very own Rose weasley for returning from her 'retirement' and rejoining the council. A round of applause for Rose, please."

The group cheered enthusiastically before being quieted again by James.

"As you all know, tonight we are being watched by someone who made our parents life miserable at school. He was a bully, a coward, and a Deatheater. A man, if you can even call him that, by the name of-" James paused dramatically. "Draco Malfoy."

A low hissed echoed across the room.

"Of course, we would never preform any of our little tricks on poor Mr. Malfoy without the full consent of the family, not after the Victore schism-"

The group shuddered remembering the council's darkest hour.

"So it is time for the vote. All in favor of giving Mr. Malfoy, a calm, peaceful night, say 'I'."

The group was silent, except for the turning of heads, eyes searching for traitors. Fred and James shared an evil grin.

"All in favor of making Mr. Malfoy's night as miserable and chaotic as he made our parent's school years, say 'I'."

"I!" The group called out in unison.

"Perfect. Children, get ready, we start in five."

**A/N Just a short little fic I decided to put out for fun! Please review, It'll make my life more bearable. The next chapter will be up soon! **

**GG**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the plot and the extremely**

Draco had just settled himself in a comfortable armchair, and convinced himself that the 'Manuel' had just been a joke, nothing Draco was meant to actually find, when an ear-piercing screech filled his ears.

Draco jumped up from the chair just in time to see Roxanne running down the stairs, in complete hysterics. "H-h-he h-i-i-i-t meeeee!" She wailed.

"What? Who hit you?" Draco asked her, at the same time while trying to cover his ears.

The young girl didn't answer, but continued to bawl. Draco tried to quite the girl while listening to the fight that was starting upstairs. How evil could these children be to each other?

Draco could hear one of the children was playing The Weird Sisters, much to the disgust of another. Draco couldn't quite see what the problem was. Who didn't love the the Weird Sisters?

"Stop paying those stupid oldies songs!" Fred cried. Apparently him. He stomped to another room, and blasted a song Draco had heard Scorpius playing multiple times.

"You turn that off!" Yelled a female voice Draco couldn't identify. "I hate the Extremely Violent Leprechauns and you know it! Turn them off!" That one had to be one of Ganger's children. Only one of hers could whine that much. Then again, he had to agree with the whiney brat. Kids these days, there music sucks.

"No, _you_ turn them _off_!"

"No, _you _turn them _off!_!" Much to Draco's dismay, neither of the children would comply with the other's request, instead they both decided to blare their music choices as loud as they possibly could, hoping the other would back down. Or maybe so that one of them would get a headache so sever they would pass out. You never know what kids will do t have the song o their choice on. Great, clashing rock music, a crying nine year old. What else could possibly happen? Draco lifted his nose and smelled the air.

"Is something...burning?" He asked horrified. He ran to the kitchen.

The small raven haired Lily was fanning a smoking oven, looking surprisingly calm.

"This happens every time." She informed him.

"Bu-but-no! Turn that off! It'll start an explosion or fire,or-"

"No!" She insisted. "I'm making cookies!"

"No! What your doing is burning the house down! Now, for God's sake, move!" He shoved the child aside. That was a mistake. A big mistake.

Tears started to swell in Lily's eyes. "Oh, no, no,no! Don't cry! Please don't-"

But it was too late. The girl was screaming bloody murder.

"I hate my life." Draco muttered.

"What did you do to her?" Demanded a furious looking James. He snatched up his crying sister and turned to give him a nasty glare. "It's okay." He cooed. "The scary man is gone now..."

On his way upstairs he grabbed Roxanne and quieted her, too. Both of the children upstairs stopped playing their music. There was finally quite.

Quickly, Draco picked up the booklet Potter and Weasley had left him.

_ Tip Number Two: _

_ If your still reading we're going to assume, yes, you_

_ did let them conference. Smooth move. _

Does he not remember that he was armed and alone with his children?

_ Everything you just experienced was round one. James clearing everything up? _

_ That was an act. He won't do it again. Trust us. Do not, I repeat, do not trust any of the children. From here _

_ on out they are all your enemies. P.S The oven isn't really burning._

Draco glanced around the room nervously, looking for any sings of a child.

_I am Draco Malfoy. I'm a mature adult and can handle seven children. This is no problem. I can handle this. I will handle this! _

With a renewed since of confidence, Draco walked into the kitchen to take a look at the supposedly 'non burning' oven. He let out a small gasp as he walked into the room.

Rose was sitting at island in the middle of the kitchen. Her face was down, she had a drink in hand. She had the air of a recently-dumped girl at a bar.

"Er, weren't you just upstairs?"

She sighed. "I quit."

"You quit what?" He asked nervously. He didn't like handling children. There was a reason he only had one, and that one was a _boy. _

"Them. The group upstairs. It's just not the same anymore. It was great when we were little, but-" She sighed again. "And with Teddy gone, he used to help. Don't tell James and Fred I said this, but he really was a better leader... Or maybe... Maybe it's just that _I've _changed. Could I have really changed? I mean, I'm going into my second year. Could I have really changed that much in a year? Well, regardless, you win. There aren't enough kids to carry out any of the other plans...this is the first time we've lost..."

"Oh, uh, well, I'm sorry. I think. I'm going to go in there now, you can come if you-" Draco frowned. "Is that Fire Whisky?"

Rose ignored his question. "That's a smoke bomb by the way... it will go away in an hour or so." When she walked out of the room, tears running down her pale cheeks, he smelled the glass.

Draco groaned. Yes, it was Firewhisky.

&&***&&

"Well?" James demanded as Rose came through the door.

Rose settled in her chair beside Al before giving an evil smile and answering, "He bought it." She wiped the fake tears off her face and received a celebratory clasp of he shoulder by James.

Fred laughed. "Of course he bought it. He's a _Malfoy._ They're genetically program to be idiots."

"Good work Rose, now middle and little children, go play with your dollies. The big kids have work to do."

"Not so fast, 'big kid'."

A collective gasp was shared throughout the group.

"What?" The deep voice asked. "You didn't _actually_ expect me to let you guys go through with this did you?"

The children stared in a stunned silence. None of then could believe their eyes. All they knew was that this night was about to get a lot more interesting.

**A/N Just want to say, this story doesn't connect to my Breakfast Club story. This is just for fun :-) **

**Please review!!!! I would be so happy!!! **

** GG**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Hedwig would have been Minister of Magic. **

"TEDDY!" Al cried.

"Teddy? What the hell are you doing here?" James asked in disbelief.

"Hey, watch your language." Teddy scolded, motioning to the children around him.

James rolled his eyes. "Act that way, and I won't help at all." Teddy warned.

"How did you know we where here?" Rose asked. "I mean, without the parents."

Teddy shrugged. "A hunch. And I might have seen that blonde freak walking around the neighborhood."

"What are you going to do Teddy?" Asked an eager Roxanne.

"Tell us!"

"Please tell us!"

"Please, _please _tell us!"

"Hush! Do you want him to come up here?" Instantly the children were silenced. "That's better. Now, I need all of you to stay up here."

"But-"

"Shut up, Fred. Either we play by my rules, or none at all." Teddy folded his arms over his chest, and stared at James and Fred.

"Fine." Fred sighed. James nodded.

"Good, now you all say up here."

"But Teddy!" Al cried. "You still haven't told us what your doing, yet!"

Teddy grinned. "Just a little something to make his night more interesting.

As if it needs it.

******

Even though he knew Ginny would be furious if she found out he was promoting this kind of behavior, Teddy couldn't wait. He'd been waiting to try out this trick for a while, he'd just needed the right time.

"Er, hello?" A voice called out nervously.

Knowing that must be him, Teddy stepped into the kitchen. "Hi, I'm Teddy, I usually come over for dinner around this time...I'm guessing they're out?" Teddy knew perfectly well they were gone, but this was just too much fun.

Draco nodded. "Yeah they're...well, they not here."

"Hey! You're...You're Draco Malfoy! This is perfect!" Teddy pulled up a chair next to Draco's and sat down. "You were a pretty popular guy at school weren't you?"

"Uh-"

"Okay so here's the problem. See, me and this girl, Victore's her name, anyway, we've known each other for a long time. And well, we got er...close last year."

"Okay?" Teddy could tell from Malfoy's expression he was feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"And, well, I can't tell my Grandparents, or Harry, because well, they'd take it pretty...Well, it would be better to tell someone who had absolutely no part in this whatsoever."

"Would it, because I think-"

"She's pregnant."

Much to Teddy's liking, Draco started coughing on the water he had just taken a drink of. "She's what?"

"Pregnant, it 's when-"

"I know what being pregnant is!" He snapped. "Shouldn't you be talking to a family member about this?"

"Why, I mean didn't you do this kind of stuff in school?"

"No, as a matter of fact I did not!"

Teddy ignored his last comment. "Hm, I don't really want a kid...I should probably dump her."

"No! You can't dump her! She's _pregnant_!"

Teddy blinked. "So?"

Draco rubbed his forehead. "Look, I'm really not the person-"

"Maybe I should kill her."

"For you to be-WHAT? You can't kill her! That's-no!"

"Okay, okay, it was just an idea."

Draco didn't say anything but buried his face in his hands.

"Maybe I should go now..."

No answer. "I'll take that as a yes."

With a smile, Teddy strode into the living room. Sitting on the glass coffee was a white booklet.

Curious, Teddy picked it up.

_A Babysitter's Guide to Surviving Our Children _

Teddy scowled. This wouldn't do. This wouldn't do at all. Knowing he couldn't flat out take it, Teddy put a little charm on it, that made it _slightly _more difficult to use.

Climbing the same vine he had before, Teddy made it into the play- I'm sorry, _conference _room.

"I could have done that, you know." Said a slightly cross looking James, holding an Extendable Ear.

"Did you not want my help?"

"Of course I did! But-"

"Good, besides your fourteen. It wouldn't be nearly as believable."

"Is that the only reason?" He persisted.

Teddy sighed. "You're good at what you do, James, you shouldn't need me to tell you that."

James nodded, satisfied.

"Tell the other I say bye, I've got to get home before they realize I'm gone." With that, Teddy swung his leg around the window seal with such grace you know he had to have some previous practice. "See you!" He called.

&&***&&

Draco opened one of the various cabinets in the Potter family kitchen. As rude as it was, with the things he was putting up with he thought he deserved something to make this night more bearable.

Just as he was reaching in to grab a bottle of Firewhisky, the seven children all trampled through the door.

"We're hungry." Hugo announced.

Draco quickly withdrew his hand. "Right, so what do you guys want?"

"Food." Hugo responded.

Draco rolled his eyes. "What kind of food?"

All the children started yelling out their favorite food choices at once.

"Stop, _stop_!" Draco shouted. Once the children were quiet he continued with, "What do you all usually eat when your parents are gone?"

Once again, all the children started speaking at once. "How about I just make whatever I can with the supplies in the kitchen?"

The children all nodded in agreement.

"Great, you all go upstairs, I'll call you when it's ready."

The children, some walking, some running, one (Roxanne) skipping, left the room, for once following his orders perfectly.

In no time Draco had knives copping food, drinks pouring themselves, all insuring the meal would be done before the children had time to complain.

"Food's ready!" Draco yelled up the staircase.

Quickly jumping out of the way of the kids trampling down the staircase, Draco felt a wave of relief knowing none of the children had broken any of each others bones for the thirty minutes he'd been cooking.

All the kids sat around the table indulging in typical childhood quarrels such as who got to sit next to who, who got the purple cup, so on and so forth.

Draco sat the plates, or rather charmed the plates to sit themselves, in front of the children. All of the children seemed to be satisfied with the grilled chicken and mashed potatoes. All except one.

"I'm vegan." Lily told him pointedly.

"Vegan? You're nine!"

"Nine and aware of animal rights! Did you know that-"

"Shouldn't you have told me this _before _dinner!" He hissed.

Lily shrugged. "Then I only cared about the environment. But I've been enlightened. Animals are people too, you know."

Draco stared at her with a dropped jaw. "One, animals are not people." Ignoring the 'Yes they are!' from Lily, Draco continued with, "And two, how were you 'enlightened' in thirty minutes?"

Lily just shrugged. "I saw the light."

"Who showed you this 'light'?" Draco asked nervously.

"Philip. "

"And who is Philip?" Draco asked, even more nervous.

"Her imaginary friend." Hugo answered.

"He's not imaginary! He's real!'

"Is not!"

"He is too!"

"They're fighting over an imaginary friend." Draco said, incredulously.

"He's not imaginary!" Lily insisted.

"Right, er, what _do _you eat?" He asked her, praying it was something they already had.

"Carrots." She answered, while giving the plate in front of her a disgustful glare.

"Right. Carrots." Draco knew he had seen carrots somewhere. Dashing around the kitchen, Draco became more and more aware that, no, they're were _not_ carrots.

"Alright, who took the carrots?"

The children all started giggling at once. "What carrots?" Al asked, seemingly innocent.

"You know perfectly well 'what carrots'." Draco snapped.

"I don't have them." Fred shrugged. This spurred all of the kids to deny having stole the orange vegetable.

"Are you sure there ever were any carrots?" James asked suspiciously.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Draco snapped back.

"Okay, okay. Just making sure."

Draco sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'm going to go get carrots."

"You're leaving us here...._alone_?" Rose asked with a raised eyebrow. "Iwouldn't do that if I were you."

"Good point." Draco noted. "Alright, get your shoes on."

"RODE TRIP!" James yelled.

Draco groaned. If he hated his life before, it was nothing to the way he felt now.

**A/N Does anybody else miss waiting in anticipation for the next Harry Potter book? A year or two ago I remember reading in an interview that in ten years she may make another one....Has it been ten years yet? Please review!!! It will make this twisted up, currently full of people who can't count down the days until the next Harry Potter book because there is none, world a better place to live in! **

**GG**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Does anybody remember Fluffy? I mean, he was my favorite character from the first book! Hm, I feel a plot bunny. Anyway, nothing's mine, including the three headed dog who probably won't even appear in this story. **

"Everybody has shoes on?" Draco asked the children. "Okay, good, does everybody have coats?"

"I's summer, moron." One of the other children called out, causing the rest of the kids to burst into fits of giggles.

Ignoring the unidentified brat, Draco continued with, "Does everybody have everything that they may possibly want to have wit them?"

The children nodded. "Good, let's move out."

According to Albus, there was a small store that would sell fresh carrots to the Witches and Wizards of Godric's Hollow located right up the rode. James brought extra money to 'load up on Butterbeer' and personally, Draco hoped they would have a bottle of Firewhisky for himself.

"Are you _sure _this is the way?" Draco asked for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Positive! Just a little bit further now."

"That's the twelfth time you've said that." Draco said irritably.

"Seventh, actually." Rose corrected, seeming just as annoyed.

"Here! That's it up here!" Al shouted, he took off at a run, and all but Rose followed suit.

"Your Scorpius's dad, aren't you."

"Last time I checked."

"Oh."

Draco glanced down at the curly haired witch. "If you fancy my son, you should really just tell me now."

"What? I do _not-" _

"I mean, it's not a big deal. He's handsome, obviously, I mean look at who he has as a father."

Rose Weasley stared at him, mouth agape. Draco smirked, feeling more like his old self.

"I do _not _, I repeat, do _not_, fancy Scorpius. If that's what he's been saying then-"

Draco laughed. "You _are _like your mother. Don't worry " Draco told her his once-trademark smirk plastered to his face. "Getting under the skin of Weasleys is an old hobby."

"So I've heard." Rose muttered.

"So, what is my son like at school?" Draco asked.

Rose smiled. Had the time for revenge really come this soon? "Oh, he's great! He seems so much happier now that him and his boyfriend have gotten back together."

"His _what_?"

"Oh, you know his boyfriend, er, Tim. Yeah, well, you know how hard the break up was on him. But their back together now, so-"

Draco came to a halt. Boyfriend? Breakup? _Tim?_

"- and Lysander told me that Lorcan said that-"

"Is he gay too?" Draco asked faintly. Lorcan has been one of Scorpius's few friends in the past year. Before Rose could answer, Draco asked. "What about that twin of his? Does he, uh, play for the other team."

Rose's face darkened. " 'That twin of his' happens to be my best friend and no he does _not _ 'play for the other team'."

Draco had sense he had poked a sleeping dragon here, so he went back to something he was much more concerned about; his son.

"So, when exactly did Scorpius er, come out of his closet?"

Rose tilted her head to the side. "You mean you don't remember?"

"Uh-"

"Well, he was already like that when he came to school. It was pretty weird at first, but we all got used to it."

Draco was starting to feel lightheaded.

"Oh look, here everyone comes..."

Lily was in the lead, clutching her bag of carrots to her heart. James was shortly behind her, black aviators covering his face, despite the lack of light, a six pack of Butterbeer in hand.

"Let's hurry up in get home, I've got homework stupid professor assigned me." They walked back in complete silence, or maybe it was incredibly loud. Draco wouldn't have noticed if one of the children had been hit by a train he was so lost if thought.

After what seemed like hours, the group finally arrived back to the Potter house.

Lily immediately went to the dining room to eat. Draco walked into the kitchen intent on the little girl a glass of water, when James, Fred, Rose, and Al approached him.

"We're going swimming." Al informed him.

"Swimming? Isn't a little dark?" He asked.

"We can take care of ourselves. " James scowled. "Besides it's just in the back yard."

"Okay. Just don't play the 'Let's Drown Each Other" game." Draco told the children.

"Please." Fred rolled his eyes. "That game is _so _out os season. We only play that in July."

"Okay then just-" Draco froze. "This _is _July."

"Bye!" Rose called as the children trampled up the stairs to change. Draco ran his had threw his hair and plopped down on one of the chairs. He was starting not to care if the kids did end up killing each other. I would certainly make his life less stressful.

Draco heard the back door open and shut. With a since of relief that there were four fewer children inside, Draco decided he should check up on the guide.

_Tip Number Three _

_We don't have a pool. _

Draco groaned. Of course they didn't have a pool. Draco flipped to the next page to see how he could get the children back, but it was blank. Draco closed it, then opened it up again. Still blank. Draco scanned the room for children, and listened hard for the faint giggling of children, but he heard none. The house seemed completely still.

Draco thought of what he could do. He couldn't leave the children alone, but taking them all on a search for their family members would be even more of a disaster than taking them all to the store. He needed reinforcement. Once again, Draco scanned the room. On one of the cream colored walls was a muggle phone. Right, phone. He had learned to use a muggle phone. They had even had one installed in his house. Of course! His house! Draco picked up the phone and dialed the number to the Malfoy Manor. Draco thought it had been a stupid idea when Astoria had suggested they put one in "For emergencies only." She'd told him. He had to remember to thank her.

"Hello?" A puzzled voice answered.

"Scorpius?"

"_Dad?" _

"Yeah, I need your help." Draco admitted. "I need you to get down to Godric's Hollow, fly here, or floo, whatever. Just get down here."

"Okay? I'll be there soon, I guess."

"Good, and Scorpius?"

"Yeah"

"Are you...do you...who's Tim?"

There was silence n the other line. "I don't know, Dad. You tell me."

Draco growled, "That brat's going down."

"Dad? What are you-"

"Don't worry about it. Just get over here."

Less than five minutes later, Draco's son appeared in the fireplace.

"Please, tell me why I'm here."

"I need you to stay here. There are three children upstairs, don't trust a word they say, and whatever you do, don't let the out of the house."

"Alright." Nodded a still confused Scorpius.

Draco ran out of the house. He jogged down the street until he saw a familiar brunette witch. Her and a boy with dark brown, almost black hair that hung limp over one eye were sitting on a street corner.

"Well, it's definitely different." Rose commented.

"It looks stupid." He murmured so low Draco could barely understand him.

"It's not stupid, just different." She assured him in a soothing voice, he hand running threw his hair, causing the boy to jerk back and Rose to roll his eyes.

"Hey!" Draco called. "What do you think your doing?"

"Oh my- how did you?-"

"Common since." Draco lied. "Now come on. I have to find the rest of you."

"Can Lysander-"

"No."

"But-"

Draco turned to her with a glare that could rival a basilisks. "I said no."

"I'll see you later." She mumbled to Lysander. He nodded back, too shocked to speak.

With each step he took, Draco's furry rose. "What were you thinking? You realize if anything would have happened to you-"

"I know." She whispered.

"Clearly you don't!"

Rose didn't say anything. "And another thing!" Draco continued. "I talked to Scorpius and he doesn't even know who Tim is!"

Even under the circumstances, Rose couldn't help but smile. "Admit it, if you hadn't have been on the receiving end that would have been hysterical."

"Not the point." Draco told her threw gritted teeth. Just as Draco was about to ask where the others were Al suddenly appeared by his cousins side. "Game over?"

"Yup."

"Good, two down, two to go. Where are they?" Draco demanded.

"Uh..."

"You don't know?" Draco hissed.

The children were silent. Draco stopped abruptly. With the furious glare, not to mention his tall, muscular frame, the children seemed to shrink before him.

"Despite what you may believe, I am _not _stupid. I've got you all figured out. You're going to stand there, play innocent, act as if you have no idea where they are, when you and I both know you know _exactly _where they are. And if you don't tell me before the time we-"

"Okay!" Al put his hands in front of him. "This way." He turned down one of the the little streets and motioned for him to follow. Draco decided that if acting more like his old self was the only way to control these hellions, he would need to start going down memory lane, preferably before they found the next set of kids, who Draco knew would be much, _much _harder to handle.

**A/N And here lies chapter four! Reviews are more than welcome!!! Please do, and thank you to everyone who already has!!!! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

Meanwhile, Scorpius had ventured upstairs to meet the children he had been assigned to watch. He found all of them huddled around around something, talking in hushed tones.

"Hello."

The children let out a collective gasp. "What are you doing up- wait! Who are you?" A small boy with red hair demanded.

"Oh,um, well, my father called me up here to help."

"Help what?" A girl with waist long, raven back hair asked.

"Watching you guys, I think. Do you guys want to, uh, play a game or something? I've never really done this kind of thing before."

The children shared a look. They had never been without the guidance of the older, and much wiser children. But this person wasn't like the other sitters they'd had. He'd even offered to play with them!

"Well," started a girl, also with fiery hair, except hers was so dark it was more red than orange. "_I _think that would be fun."

"Good! What game do you guys want to play?"

"Duck, duck, goose!" Screamed something that the children seemed to be deliberately standing in front of, a blonde girl with large, watery, blue eyes. The small child broke free of the wall of nine year olds surrounding her.

"Okay sound good,er, what's you name?"

The girl smiled confidently before answering, "Marjorie Dursley."

******

"Well?" Draco snapped. "Where are they?"

"Here, at Aden Jordan's house." Al answered solemnly.

Draco started to feel guilty at so greatly upsetting the young boy, then he remembered all the things he had been put through tonight and stopped. "Go and get them then." He commanded.

Head down, Al walked to the up to the house, which was mostly obscured by large hedges.

"What's your deal, anyway?" Draco asked.

"Us? We're just evening up the family score." Rose answered.

"Family score? What do you mean?"

"You made our Parents life hell at school. Then you sat aside and watched as my Mother was tortured. It's our own personal form of revenge."

Draco thought this over. He'd realized when Scorpius was born what kind of pain he must of put those three through. He couldn't imagine anyone doing that to his son. He would be horrified.

"I'm not always this way." Rose confessed. "It's just...well, it's you. I hate you."

Draco furrowed his brow. Her frankness surprised him, and her words stung a little. But just a little.

"So, you don't always aim to make people's life miserable?"

Rosie smiled softly. "I usually don't participate. In fact, I usually don't stay in the house. Lysander and I tend to run off while no one's looking."

Draco scowled. "Well, I wish I would have known that four hours ago. You know how much easier this night when have been without you?"

"I already told you," Rose laughed. "It's _you._ I would have stayed no matter what. Besides, there still would have been James."

Draco's face darkened. "If there is any child here I hate more than you, it's him. He's the mastermind, isn't he?"

"Yup."

"I don't know who's more messed up, him, or the one the got the girl, Victore, pregnant."

"What?" Rose asked, shocked. "Teddy? That's impossible! Victore's been in France visiting her grandparents for a year!" Rose's eyes widen, and she groaned.

"Oh, I'm going to murder that git!" Draco snarled.

Rose slapped her head with her palm. "I'm so stupid." She moaned.

"Finally a bit of honesty." Came Rose's brother's voice.

"You," Draco turned to the boy, "are dead meat. And you, too." He added to the dark-haired boy following him.

James rolled his eyes. He smirked and said, "Yeah, I'm shaking in my skin."

Draco grabbed at the boy by the front of his shirt and pulled him to eye-level. "If you value your safety, "He whispered. "I suggest you listen to me. You and the rest of your little crew are going to go home. When you get there, you're going to go to separate rooms in sit in complete, udder silence. Sound good?" He lowered the boy to his feet, and continued walking.

James turned to the other children. "Did that just happen?" James mouthed to the other three.

The others nodded dumbly. Without hesitating further, James walked towards his home, purposefully keeping a safe distance from the eldest Malfoy.

The five arrived to see Scorpius standing at the banister, a wild grin on his face.

"What the hell? Why's he here?" James cried.

"Hey, Dad! Man, those kids are great! I mean, they have to be the four most awesome kids in the world!"

Draco frowned. "Four? You mean three."

"No," Scorpius said slowly. "Four. Lily, Hugo, Roxanne, and Marjorie."

"Just when I think they're out of ideas." Draco shook his head. _Just don't react. Don't give them what they want. _He told himself.

"Okay, well, I must have been mistaken." Draco replies, much to the shock of all in the room. "I think you four remember what I told you." He adds.

James, Al, and Fred, trudge up the stairs. "What about you?" Draco asks Rose.

"This is my room. I choose this room."

"Fine." Draco grumbles. "Where are the little kids?"

"I just checked, they all fell asleep." Scorpius called from the top of the stairs..

"I doubt that. Stay in the room with them."

Scorpius shrugged and retreated to the little room.

"Who's the fourth child?" Draco asked.

Rose frowned. "I think one of our relatives...God knows how she got here."

"Well, does she live in this area?"

Rose's frown deepened. "No, she's a muggle. As far as we know, I mean, she's only three."

"Oh, then I'm leaving her for you parents to deal with."

"Why?" Rose challenged. "Because she's a muggle?"

"No," Draco replied evenly, "Because she doesn't live in this area, and because if she _is_ a muggle, I doubt her parents will be connected to the floo network."

"Oh...right."

The two sat in silence. Rose stared out the window, while Draco fiddled with a long black stick-like thing. They had learned about it in Muggle Studies. What was it called? Flicker? Ticker? Well, something like that. Rose sighed. When Draco said nothing, she let out another,more exaggerated , one. Rose was about to sigh a third time when Draco finally asked, "Okay what? What do you want?"

"I just miss my best friend is all. He goes in stays with his Grandfather tomorrow, you know. I won't get to see him for months...."

Draco let out a sigh of his own. "Fine. Go."

"Yes! Oh, Yes! Thank you so much!" She gushed.

"Be back in thirty minutes!" Draco called after her, knowing she wouldn't hear him. Not five minutes after Rose had left, Scorpius came down the stairs. "Where''d Rose go?" He asked, looking slightly crestfallen.

"She ran of with Lysander, or Lorcan, or whatever his name is."

Scorpius's face brightened. "Lorcan lives around here? Can I-"

"Yes, go. Make sure you _and _that two faced, curly-haired...girl, come back in half an hour."

"Will do!" And with that, Draco's son, and only allie, was gone, leaving him alone with three very angry children.

**A/N I know, extremely short chapter, I'm sorry. So, here's the deal, I might not be able to update any of my stories until early July. I know a month, it sucks. I have one hope though, but unless she answers her phone, that hope it lost. So, unless that 'certain somebody' will charge her phone( you know who you are...I hope) then no updates will come until about July third. But I **_**will**_** be writing while I'm gone in a notebook, so when I get back I'll have very fast updates. I also have in mind a couple of new stories I'll be working on, mostly about third gen. girls. **

**So until then, bye!! See you in July!! Thank you for everything so far! PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**GG**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

"Revenge is necessary."

"Of course!"

"But how?"

James paced back forth in the small Conference Room.

"We've used about all the tricks we have." Fred scowled. "Usually they've run off by now."

"We need to get rid of him, and fast."

"Way to point out the obvious, Al." James sneered.

"Sorry."

James continued to pace. With each step he was growing more and more frustrated. Why was nothing working? What next? Was he really running out of ideas? His Grandfather would have _never _run out of ideas.

Fred was thinking along the same lines. He racked his mind through all pranks he had ever done. He thought about his father and uncle. Had they ever gone through a pranking drought?

"Maybe," Albus began hesitantly, "Maybe we should just lay off for a little while, give the guy a-"

"Are you crazy?" James demanded.

"Just roll over and die?" Fred gasped, horrified.

"I swear sometimes he's adopted." James said while shaking his head.

"Oh, shut up! It was just a suggestion."

"God!" James slammed his fist in the wooden table sitting between them.

"This sucks."

James sighed. "Let's just wait, it will come to us soon."

*************

"I thought you were on house arrest or something." Lysander smiled slightly as he let his best friend into his house.

"I might as well have been. I just feel bad for him, I don't think he's realized who I've left him with. So, looking forward to seeing your Grandfather?"

Lysander rolled his eyes. "Do I really need to answer that question?"

Rose gave him a sympathetic smile. "You can stay with me if you want."

"I'd love to, you have no idea, but my Mum would- What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, er, hi." Scorpius looked slightly like a deer caught in headlights. "I was just...uh, is Lorcan here?"

"Upstairs." Rose told him. As soon as the blonde boy had departed up the stairs Lysander turned to Rose. "Why is Scorpius, freaking, Malfoy in my house?"

"Because he's friends with your brother?"

"Right. Well, I'll be kicking him out now." Lysander started to climb the stairs, but Rose pulled him back. "Oh, come on, Lys!"

"Don't call me that."

Rose ignored him. "He's not that bad. Nothing like his father."

"Psh, that's what you know." He growled back.

"Really? Have you heard something I haven't?"

"Well, no."

"Has he done anything that you've seen?"

"No, but-"

"There. Then I see no reason to hate him. Now, I'm going upstairs to join them. Whether you come or not is entirely up to you."

"Fine." Lysander sighed. "Let's go."

**********

Could it be....no. Draco wouldn't allow himself to think it. But, maybe, just _maybe_ those brats had finally quit. Maybe,he could finally have peace.

THUD!

Or not.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!"

Draco leaped from the seat.

"Dear God, please, someone, _anyone,_ help us!" Another voice cried. The eldest Malfoy sprinted up the stairs towards the screaming.

"HELP!" Fred shrieked. Draco watched in horror as James slide tackled his little brother. He was growling and snapping his jaws as if he was a copy of _The Monster Book of Monsters. _

"What's wrong with him?" Draco screamed as James began viciously attacking the wall with one of the wooden chairs.

"Well, when we were coming back from Aden's house, back to where you were, James saw a patch of mushrooms-"

Draco groaned. "Please, don't tell me-?"

Fred nodded. "He ate them. We tried to talk him out of it, but when he gets something in his head, well, it's not coming out. After a while he said he was starting to feel funny. Now he's turned into this."

"Is he mental?" Draco asked, not bothering to hide the exasperation in his voice.

"He _was _dropped on his head when he was-OUCH!" James had sunk his teeth into Fred's neck. "HE'S INFECTED ME!" Fred began desperately trying to shake James off his neck, while Albus tried pulling him off.

"STUN HIM!" Al cried.

"Stun? Oh! Right! But my wand is downstairs!"

"Then go get it!" Fred and Al cried in unison.

Draco dashed down the stairs and grabbed wand, not missing a beat, he instantly spun around and ran back up the stairs.

During the twenty seconds had been gone, James had developed a thick layer foam around his mouth. But just as he was about to _Stupefy _him, Draco noticed a can of something in the corner of the room. Without bothering with James, Draco walked to the corner, picked up the can of whipped cream, and for what seemed like the first time in years, Draco laughed.

*********

"I told you he wouldn't be that bad." Rosie told Lysander as they walked down the stairs(Scorpius was far ahead of them, claiming that if they weren't home soon his father would be livid with anger).

"Yeah, I guess he's alright. I just don't see why he would actually _want _to spend time with Lorcan."

Rose would normally scowl at someone for saying this, but she knew that Lys was actually serious. Him and Lorcan have never seen eye to eye. And Lorcan was a bit...odd.

Before Rose had left the house, Lysander grabbed her arm. "I'm not going to see you for a month and three weeks."

Rose nodded. "I know." Without warning, the brunette's friend pulled her into a hug, a gesture so rare, Rose was almost to surprised to hug back. "I'll miss you." She told him.

"You too." Lysander replied, then released his friend from his bear hug. "See you September." Lysander gave her a sad smile.

"See you September." Rose repeated with the same small smile, then, with Scorpius beside her, left.

*******

Draco smiled to himself as he flipped through the pages of The Guide, which he had found out from Al had been jinxed do that he would always be one step behind the children. Now that it had been restored, Draco found it interesting to see all the various tips and rules it held.

All the children were sitting before him, talking amongst themselves. They had begged and begged him to tell him stories from when he was in school, until Draco had insisted that there were no more to tell. At this Lily had informed him, "Daddy has more stories than you."

"Yeah, well, your Dad has a weird scar on his head." He had replied, realizing that no matter how old they got, him and Potter's rivalry would never fully end.

"Hello!" A voice called from the doorway. All of the younger children squealed as the red head, who Draco easily recognized as Ron Weasley, walked through the doorway.

"How were they?" A nervous-looking Hermione Granger asked.

"They were..." Draco looked around at all the children's faces and sighed. "Perfect. They were perfect."

Whatever revenge Draco could have gotten, no amount of pain he could have inflicted on them, would have ever amounted to seeing the look of pure shock on the children's faces.

"Are we talking about the same children?" Gorge Weasley asked.

Draco nodded. "The very same."

"Well then," Harry laughed," I guess we finally found someone who knock some since into them."

James opened his mouth to protest, but Rose quickly slapped her hand over his mouth.

Good-byes only took a few minutes, but Draco had to admit, they were quite sad. Especially Rose's, who'd actually hugged him. It was touching, well it would have been if Draco was into that kind of stuff. Which he's not.

As him and Scorpius were about to apparate from the Potter's front lawn, Harry stopped them.

"Thank you." He said after he'd jogged up to them. "Thank you so much."

Draco gave a fraction of a smile. "No problem but Potter?"

"Yeah?"

"Never ask me again."

Harry smiled back. "No problem."

And with that, Draco apparated back to the Malfoy Manor, ready for a warm bed and a strong bottle of Firewhisky.

**A/N That's it, the last chapter! Awwww, I'm really sad. But happy at the same time, this is my first completed fic!!! I know it took forever to come out (standard excuses apply, traveling, broken computer) but here it is!! I'm going to start updating everything else now, too! Thank you so, so, **_**so, **_**SO,**_** SO **_**much to everyone who has reviewed this story or added this to favorites and/or on alert!! You've made me happier than you can imagine!!! Please review!!! :-D **

**Gryffindor's Goddess **


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